If you’ve been following my stuff for awhile, you know that I’m a big fan of Thick Face, Black Heart by Chin-Ning Chu.
I think so highly of the book that I read it at least four times a year, and I mail a copy to everyone who joins my Secret Coach Club.
Since it’s a book that should be required reading for all coaches and entrepreneurs, I’m going to share some of the big lessons that I’ve learned from it over the next few days.
Here’s one of the big ones from TFBH that stuck with me:
You can’t let people walk all over you.
We all want to be liked, but that doesn’t mean that you become a door mat for others.
Chu writes:
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We often allow others to treat us unfairly because we do not want to confront or challenge them, nor do we wish to disturb our deeply ingrained notions of right and wrong. Instead, we comfort ourselves with feelings of moral superiority. We tell ourselves that we are above engaging in conflict over unimportant trifles. But despite what we think, we turn the other cheek. Not because it is right, but because it is easy.
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I see this in the coaching world every day. Since positive thinking is ingrained so deeply in the industry, it’s become almost-taboo to cause a stir, even when you’re in the right to do it.
I often see coaches getting burned on contracts, or having their copy blatantly stolen, or other coaches being shifty and trying to poach their clients …
When they ask for advice on Facebook, other coaches say:
– “Don’t do a thing: focus on the positive instead of the negative”
– “Don’t waste your time on something so little”
– “Karma will catch up to them, you just keep doing your thing”
Not doing anything about transgressions against you may be easier in the short term, but when added up they will kill your confidence and leave you bitter and resentful.
I’m not suggesting that you spend 24/7 going after those who hurt you, but when someone takes advantage of you, it should be addressed forcefully.
TFBH teaches that you confront issues head on, so others won’t try to take advantage of you in the future.
That’s a powerful lesson to remember …
Yesterday we had another coach commit to a seat in my next 10 Clients In 90 Days group that starts this month. We’ve got just a few left, learn more here:
